The real reality.

I've been doing my best to allow myself to take off time away from the virtual reality that has become my life as a photographer, and instead fill that space with the room to enjoy and cope with my real reality the past two weeks. With the passing of my dad, suddenly the last thing I wanted to do was spend time on Twitter, Facebook, blog or email that usually fills my days. It wasn't a complete detox b/c yes I had my iPhone with me part of the time, but otherwise, I just simply wanted to spend time with my close family and friends... and enjoy a beautiful new relationship that has brought me so many smiles in the midst of a sad time.

Because of this temporary withdrawal from technology, I have so much to blog about and catch up on. But not only did I detox from virtual reality, I detoxed from being a photographer. Below you will see, my friends Darice Michelle and Lyndsay Hyatt-Almeida captured so beautifully the most important day of my life. The day we celebrated the end of my dad's life. And what a celebration it was!

One thing about my family, we never do things like anyone else. And my dad's funeral was not going to be an exception. My mom didn't want it to be a sad funeral. My dad believed in living to the fullest, and she wanted his funeral to be a true celebration. She called it a "Wang Dang Doodle" funeral. In honor of his love, and I mean LOVE, for preserving Southern Heritage and all things related to the Civil War (hence how I got my name, Scarlett, after the book and movie Gone With the Wind), my mom brought in Confederate re-enactors to send my dad off in a truly beautiful procession following a horse-drawn carriage, and Southern Belles singing "Dixie" as he was placed in his new home. Afterward, we celebrated with a big party full of lots of my dad's favorite Southern dishes like oysters, macaroni and cheese, black-eyed peas, BBQ pork, fried chicken, collard greens, cheese grits, sweet tea, etc. My dad believed in goooooood eating, and sharing good food with others!

The Florida Times-Union even came out to do a story for the newspaper, and you can view the reporters blog entry and published stories here, here, and here.

Here are some of the great shots everyone got that I borrowed from their blogs!

My mom displayed all my dad's favorite things around the lobby including all his Civil War momentos, golf achievements, FSU Seminole trinkets, and the hundreds of cards he received from all of YOU!


The confederate soliders.


My dad's coffin adorned in a Rebel flag and the canvas photos I had given him and my mom for their living room two Christmases ago.




The preacher, Brother Bill Yeldell of Mandarin Baptist Church, who baptized me in 1994.


A little cry, ok a big cry, when watching the slideshow I made for my dad. You can view it below.


Someone special holding my hand through it all.


Laughing at how funny dad was dancing in the home footage in the slideshow!


I love this shot of my mom watching her sweetheart!




My dad's best friend, Eddie C, doing the honors of placing my dad on the horse-drawn carriage.


The beginning of the procession line. I was told about 200 people followed behind. What an honor for my dad!








Giving my mom a kiss with my... uh... bodyguard. :-)






At the mosemleum where he rests now.




More cool details.




Me and momma.


Singing Dixie.




Smiling at the party with my good friends Ginger and Darice!


With some high school friends!


My middle school girl friends, Rachel and Franca.


More girlfriends, Katie, Ginger, & Kacy.


My friends/old bride & groom Corinna and her husband Bobby.


Mom and me and Darice again!


Mom with the lovely newspaper reporter Tracy Collins.


A picture Mark grabbed of my mom and I afterward in front of my dad's mosemleum and the garden area my mom planted around it for my dad.


And saving the best for last..... yes, now it's out in the open about my new mystery man, Mark. If you are a Facebook friend, then you probably saw the "relationship status" change discreetly over the weekend, so I figured it's time I officially blog some pictures with Mark. He came all the way out from California, where he lives, to be my shoulder to cry on, but he really brought so many more smiles and laughs that I needed the most in this time. I love these few that Darice grabbed of him and I at my dad's celebration. Doesn't HE have the best smile in the world?? he he he






And a cute one from Lyndsay. I love how the party is swirling around us, and we are just caught up in our own little world. One day I'll spill all the cute stories on the blog of how our story has unfolded, but for now, we are enjoying being caught up in own little world. :-) There's more pics of us on Mark's blog if you want to snoop! he he



Lastly, here is the video slideshow I showed at my dad's funeral service full of years of photos and video footage of him and our family. It's funny how I think I've cried all my tears I can, but everytime I watch this, they still come pouring out. So you might want to grab some kleenex before watching. Enjoy!



More blog entries on the way..... a very belated WPPI recap with Lyndsay & Anderson's hot night shoot, my After Party, another glam fashion session.... other fun photos... whew, I'm behind. But I need to catch up with clients first. Back to email and editing! If you have emailed and not received a recent response, I'll be doing my best to tackle my inbox this week! Thanks for your patience!

A life remembered.

I was already heading to Orlando for a special engagement session this past weekend, and more on that to come, but first I had to head down a few days earlier for the funeral of my grandparent's beloved friend, Mr. Seminara. Mr. Seminara and my grandpa go way back about 60 years to their days in the Navy, way before my grandpa even met my grandma. Then my grandpa and Mr. Seminara married within a year of each other and my grandmother and Mrs. Seminara soon became best friends too! Though their different stations took each of their families all around the world every few years, they both settled in Orlando for their retirement and have remained as close as family to this day.

When I was in college, I produced a scrapbook magazine for both my grandparents and the Seminara's as a special 50th Anniversary gift for each of them and our families. It was a great way to learn more about my own family through the boxes and boxes of photos my Grandma had collected over the years, and I enjoyed the opportunity to get to know the Seminara family through the same experience as well. I collected old photos from Mrs. Seminara's albums and stories from each of her 4 kids to design it all together for a "Family Circle" magazine of their own family. It was through this experience, holding photos over 60 years old in my hands, that made me realize the importance of how photos play such an important part in family history and cherishing loved ones memories.

In looking at the photos of Mr. and Mrs. Seminara on their wedding day, I remember quoting in their magazine the lyrics from a Braid Paisley song, "All Because Two People Fell in Love":

Yea there ain't nothing not affected
When two hearts get connected
All that is will be or ever was
Every single choice we make
Every breath we get to take
Is all because two people fell in love

At the funeral on Saturday, the Seminara kids were so sweet to come up and tell me how much the book still meant to them all these years later, especially in this time of the passing of their father. Mr. and Mrs. Seminara waited a long time to be grandparents, and received their first grandkid in their 70s. They are now up to 7 grandkids and I'm so glad their young grandkids can have the book as well to remember their "Papa" by. It's an honor to have played a part in giving their family that gift. I guess it was only natural that I now have become a wedding photographer documenting two people who fell in love as they set out to start their own family history.

Before the funeral, I took a few photos of my own family. Here's my grandparents with my mom and her two brothers, my uncle Jeff and Chip. They all had to do Jeff's signature pose with the chin. He literally does this in every picture that has ever been taken of him.




A quick shot grabbed of mom and I.


Mom and Grandma lighting a candle of prayer for my dad before the service.


At the end of the day, Mrs. Seminara and her grandkids each released a balloon to Heaven to send up to their Grandpa in his new home. That's Mrs. Seminara's hands letting go of the middle balloon with a cross on it. The symbolism of letting go moves me to tears looking at the photo.


Mrs. Seminara surrounded in lots of little love after the balloon release. Such a sweet photo!

Good bye Daddy.

Johnny Ray Williams
December 21, 1946-February 21, 2009

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith"
2 Tim 4:7

A picture I took of my dad in 2006 giving tribute to his love of the confederacy in Nashville at the Ryman Auditorium.

I don't even know where to begin.

Whew.

The past 2 weeks have been a blurry whirlwind.

What day is it?

Let me rewind to two days before I left for Vegas. I honestly didn't want to book the trip, but in the weeks leading up to it, I had a talk with my dad, and he told me I needed to continue moving on with my life, and that this trip signified everything he had worked so hard for to set me up for success, and that I needed to go on the trip. So I booked the trip, planned the photoshoot workshop and my After Party.

Dad had been pretty level and was in comfort receiving home Hospice care. But then, he no longer was able to keep his medicine down due to a continued nauseous problem he was having after not eating since the beginning of the year. So two days before my trip, they moved him into the Hospice facility to try to get the nausea under control to be able to return home. I of course was about to cancel my trip to Vegas, but after a long talk with my mom, she encouraged me to go through with it and reminded me that daddy would want me to go.

The night before I left was Valentine's Day, so I brought my dad some chocolate covered strawberries. He couldn't eat any, but I ate some for him. He was the first man I ever loved, and I couldn't think of a more perfect person to be my Valentine this year. At this point, he was still conscious, but really could only mutter a few words here and there. When my mom got back from errands, we both held his hands and said the most beautiful long heartfelt prayer recalling all our wonderful memories of the life the three of us shared and how thankful we were for all my dad sacrificed to provide my mother and I such a blessed life of abundance. The tears poured down my face as the three of us poured our hearts out to God. We could truly feel His presence in the room, and it was the closure I needed to get on the plane the next day. As I said goodbye, I told him not to go anywhere until I got back from Vegas, and was praying hard that the Lord would allow that to happen.

Fast forward to dinner one night in Vegas. I spoke to my dad one last time on the phone, and though he could only respond with one word at a time, I will cherish that last conversation.

On Thursday night, my mom picked me up from the airport to inform me that earlier that day, daddy became unconscious. We went straight to Hospice, luggage and all, and spent two nights there sleeping on cots beside his bed. It was such a joy that they also allowed us to bring our dogs, my dog Rhett, his "grandpup" and my mom's dog Lucky, my "sister," so that the whole family could be there. Friday morning, the doctor came in to check his vitals and told us that with all the signs he was showing, she didn't expect him to last more than a few hours. Hearing the news, it was the first time I truly cried since I got back. I couldn't believe how close the end was approaching, but at the same time, I was sooooo thankful that he waited until I got back from Vegas. All day Friday, I stayed by his side. I just couldn't leave. As torturous as it was waiting for his last breath, I wanted to be there, as hard as it was to watch him suffer. Though he had been unconscious the past 24 hours and couldn't respond, my mom and I had heard that hearing was the last thing to go, so we continued to talk to him as we always did.

The most beautiful moment we shared was when my mom was having a breakdown moment crying because she wanted to simply lay next to him one more time. In the past few months, my mom had been sleeping in the guest room as to not disturb my dad's sleep at night in their bed, and my mom truly missed laying next to her husband. But since she couldn't lay next to him in the Hospice bed, she stood in front of him and said "Johnny, open your eyes one more time, I need you to open your eyes and look at me one more time before you leave. Honey, will you look at me?" And he did, he opened his eyes for her!!! I jumped up from my cot and was like "Wait, daddy, I want you to see me one more time too, can you open your eyes for me too?" He wasn't able to open his eyes, but he did move his eyebrows up and down as if he was trying. It just meant so much and I'll never forget that moment of seeing his eyes one last time looking at my mom.

(Ok, sorry, have to wipe the tears before I continue.... They still come and go....)

He continued to last through Friday night, the nurses were saying he had the strongest heart holding on that they had ever seen! I would agree. Yesterday morning, I awoke to my mom getting ready to head out to do errands. Before she left, we stood over him and prayed again. Then she headed out and I went back to sleep. Around 11am, his best friend Ed stopped by one more time to check in on him and say goodbye, and I took Rhett out on a walk. I came back in, and Ed headed out. After Ed left, daddy's breathing started to change, almost as if he was gasping for air in those last few breaths. Then mom walked back in, and rushed to his side. The gasps of air became stronger, almost like coughs and he started to make noise that sounded almost like his voice trying to say goodbye. My mom and I stood by his side and simply started to worship the Lord by singing Amazing Grace and other hymns as we stroked him and told him that it was ok to let go. As we continued to sing, he took his last breath and we slowly started to see his pulse come to a stop. It truly was the perfect moment and what an honor it was to send him off to Jesus in the midst of our worship.

Needless to say, it has been an emotional roller coaster. Tears on and off, and in between moments of numbness, like, did this really happen? Is he really gone? The past 8 months since we heard the news of his cancer definitely went by way too fast, but yet, it was the most incredible memorable 8 months of my life. I have never felt God's presence so strong through the last memories my mom and I shared with my dad, and all the wonderful prayers from each and one of you.

I won't be able to thank each one of you personally, but for all who have reached out through Facebook, Twitter, text messages, phone calls and emails, please know from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being a friend and being my brother and sister in Christ lifting my family up during this difficult time. Though I can't respond to them all, I have read each of your beautiful words and hold them tight in my heart!!!

Also, my mom and I will not be mourning his death, but instead throwing him a huge party for his funeral as a celebration of his life. For those who have shared in our journey, we are opening it up to all to attend. The funeral will be next Saturday, Feb 28th at noon at Ponte Vedra Valley Cemetery. As you can imagine, my inbox is slammed right now, so if you have questions about the funeral arrangements, please email Mark at mark_sweeney@me.com who can help answer your questions. Also, my mom and I request that you not send flowers, but instead make donations to either:

*The American Cancer Society in honor of my dad's name.
*Northeast Florida Community Hospice in honor of my dad's name.

And with my dad's great passion for Southern history, we also ask donations be made in his name to:
*The Jacksonville Museum of Southern History. You can email curator@museumsouthernhistory.com for more info.
*The Sons of the Confederate Veterans. You can email CJ Hart at calvinhart@bellsouth.net for more info.

Lastly. For those who follow me on Twitter, I know a lot of you have been wondering who this @mark_sweeney guy is that I was chatting a lot about while in Vegas. I'm going to keep it on the downlow for now, but I do want to share that he is an amazing source of joy that has come into my life during this difficult time. We shared a romantic first kiss on the Eiffel Tower in Vegas, and things have continued to unfold so much more beautiful than I could ever imagine. We are both excited to see what God has in store for us, but I'm going to keep this part of my life private for the time being. But Mark is definitely a comforting angel that is helping me to smile and laugh a lot right now, and I'm so thankful for his presence in my life. Also, too, I want to share that his mom is also battling cancer right now, so please lift her up in prayer as well. Our parents were diagnosed around the same time, and she is doing remarkably well at the moment. God is good. You can read about her journey through the blog he started for her at lorrainesfight.blogspot.com.

Again, THANK YOU for all your support. Your prayers have kept me strong. I cherish each one of you and your friendship. May God bless you in return with His sweet love.

p.s. I have TONS AND TONS of pics from WPPI that I can't wait to share with everyone, but I will be doing a big belated post about that once the funeral is behind me. Stay tuned!

p.p.s. This is the reason I love blogs, being able to document life along the way, for the times you want to reflect back. Here are some old posts about my dad I want to share. I feel so blessed to have all these great memories documented!

http://captivatingstudios.blogspot.com/2006/12/fun-in-bathtub.html
http://captivatingstudios.blogspot.com/2006/12/happy-birthday-jesus-daddy-and-moi.html
http://captivatingstudios.blogspot.com/2007/06/fathers-day-in-jekyll-island.html
http://scarlettlillian.blogspot.com/2008/05/its-official.html
http://scarlettlillian.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-fatherdaughter-dance.html
http://scarlettlillian.blogspot.com/2008/10/valley.html
http://scarlettlillian.blogspot.com/2008/12/blessed-holiday-season.html
http://scarlettlillian.blogspot.com/2009/01/daddys-little-girl.html

Dad's life. Remembered.

I love this shot I took of my dad on his 60th birthday 2 years ago.

I was up until 6am this morning finishing my dad's slideshow video I will be playing at the funeral on Saturday. I'm not one to get up and speak, so instead I wanted to present his memory in a creative way through the slideshow, while incorporating video footage I have of him over the years. I will be posting it here on the blog after the funeral. All in all, it was about 300 photos and 25 minutes long! Whew! I never realized I had sooooooo many photo albums and photos of him. Who would have thunk I would end up a photographer? ha! Going through all these photos recently, it just truly makes me appreciate the beauty of my job, in documenting history. Family. Love. Emotion. Memories.

For now though, the paper published his obituary today that my mom wrote about him. You can click here to read it:

http://www.legacy.com/TimesUnion/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=124564055

Again, thank you to all who continue to reach out and send kind words of encouragement! You are all keeping me strong!

The hidden pleasure of cupcakes.

When in Los Angeles a few weeks ago (pictures still to come from that!), there was nothing I wanted more than a Sprinkles cupcake that I kept hearing so much about. After dinner with Mark at The Ivy on Friday night (we didn't see any celebs there, but we saw Matthew Perry at my hotel), I was bummed to call and hear Sprinkles was closed for dessert.

On Saturday morning, the fashion workshop I was attending was starting and I had to say goodbye to my wonderful Mark who drove 5 hours down from Monterey to take to me the workshop. Friday night after dinner, we had one of those long talks where you realize how hard relationships really are as you both start to learn to compromise and grow patient with each other's needs as the infatuation phase fades and you really start to get into the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work.

Monday morning, as he dropped me off, it felt like having to leave a conversation that wasn't finished, but we said our goodbyes anyway. Then, as it got close to lunch, he sent me a text asking if he left his camera in my purse. Turns out he didn't, but he said he had something else he wanted to bring me. I thought he was already heading back home, but I guess not.

I stepped outside the studio to see him waiting by his truck with his hands behind his back. I confess, as I walked toward him, it kind of felt like I was in a chick flick sitting in the audience of the movie theater wondering what he was hiding behind his back. I went up to him and gave him a hug, and he asked me what I had for lunch. When I told him, he asked if I had eaten dessert yet, and I said, "No, why?" Next thing I know, he pulls out from behind him a box of Sprinkles cupcakes!!!! I squealed!! Literally.

In that moment, everything was ok again. Just like he became my hero holding my hand through my dad's funeral, he became my hero all over again by surprising me with cupcakes that day. That's one of the many reasons I love him!

As I became domesticated and baked my own cupcakes this weekend, I realized, that's exactly why cupcakes have become so popular again. Yeah they taste great, and as my friend Beth and I discussed on the phone, they are like a treat you don't have to feel guilty about because you are just having one cupcake, not a whole cake. But beyond that, I realized, the reason why I have a new obsession with them is because of what they symbolize.... eating a cupcake means everything is ok in the world for that moment in time.

I can't remember ever making cupcakes with my mom, but when I when I think of eating cupcakes, I think of being a child.

Before worries.
Before fat grams and calories mattered.
Before money stress and bills to pay.
Before losing loved ones.
Before mean girls.
Before heartbreaks.
Before complications.

Eating a cupcake, everything is simple all over again and it reminds me of that childlike wonder and faith that Jesus tells us to build our own faith around.

I hope you have a cupcake kind of day!

After the wedding day.

There's an interesting discussion going on my Facebook right now about brides who didn't invest in the photographer they really wanted and ended up being unhappy with their wedding photos. The discussion got started because yesterday I got a follow up email from a bride who had inquired with me last year, but didn't hire me because of my price, and in yesterday's email told me how unhappy she was with her photos and ended the email saying "I wish I had hired you!"

So I Twittered about that, and now it lead to a discussion on Facebook. Yes, I'm a photographer, and I'm not here to be all used car salesman on you, but as a bride myself now getting married in April, I have learned from both sides that yes, wedding photography is one of those things, you get what you pay for. If you love someone's style of photography, but sacrifice that for price, then, well, it's kind of like getting that Louis Vitton knock off that falls apart when you should have just invested in the real thing in the first place (Not that I would buy a Louis, I like Juicy Couture's style better, but you get the drift!) It breaks my heart to get the kind of emails I got last night, or at almost every wedding, a guest comes up to me after seeing their friend's engagement pictures and says "Your photos are amazing, I wish I had paid more to get a good photographer!"

Because I am a photographer, and now also a bride, the first thing I hired was our photographers for our wedding, the amazing husband wife team, Gray Photography, because, not only did Stephen and I love their style, we knew great photography is the most important investment of the day. Jodi could even blackmail me with a few "begging" emails trying to revolve our date around when her and Zach were available. Having created so many beautiful wedding albums for my own brides, I thankfully have not had to learn the hard way that your wedding photos are the only thing (other than the rings and marriage license) that lasts after the wedding day is over.

Some of my my recent brides, Emily & Ashton, say it best in their follow up emails after seeing their wedding slideshows:






What will you say you invested your budget in? The upgrade on those chair covers, or the last picture you have with your dad dancing the father/daughter dance before finding out he had cancer after your wedding? This happened to one of my 2008 brides. Even this year, I had one of my recent brides email me thanking me for a side picture I took of one of her bridesmaids. It was her groom's sister, age 19, who found out she suddenly had an illness that took her life in a few short weeks, and they used my photo at his sister's funeral.

Whether you hire me or someone else who is your favorite that you know you want to splurge on, go for it! This is the one day in your life that changes your life, and you will look back on the rest of your life. The American Express commercials may be cliched at this point... but it's the moments that happen after a wedding day like the one above that prove wedding photography truly is..... priceless.

26.2 With Donna, The National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer.

A picture from my iPhone of the sunrise this morning on the beach.

So not only did I get up at 5:30 am this morning to go run on the beach to the sun rising, but I just did something else insane.

I just signed up to run a marathon.

Like, a full marathon. 26.2 miles and all. (I've always been an all or nothing kind of girl!) I've never run more than 10 miles, barely, and I just signed up for 26 miles. What was I thinking?

It was actually something I wanted to cross off my bucket list early this year for the 2009 race, but, well, life got in the way. Local newscaster Donna Deegan is a breast cancer survivor times three times it came back, and she now hosts an annual breast cancer marathon called "26.2 With Donna, The National Marathon to FINISH Breast Cancer." It is also sponsored by Mayo Clinic where both my mom and dad got treated.

So here's why I'm doing the 2010 race...

My mom and grandmother are both breast cancer survivors, so of course, they are the first reason I'm doing it. Then, at the end of 2007, I had my first scare with a mysterious lump that, praise Jesus, turned out negative after much worry and rounds of tests. That's when I decided I wanted to do a marathon. Something about having a scare like that totally shook me up and I wanted to do something powerful (and insane!) to remind myself how blessed I am to be alive each new day the Lord gives me. I changed to Raw eating and started running about 5-8 miles a day. I never felt better.

But then 2008 hit even harder with the news that my dad had lung cancer and was given six months to a year to live. So needless to say, there was no way I could focus on training for the February 2009 marathon.

But this year, there's a more special reason why I'm doing it. I was in the grocery store flipping through a runner's magazine and I saw a big ad for the marathon which peaked my interest again. And then I saw the date.

February 21, 2010.

(Big sigh.)

That will be the one-year anniversary of the exact day when my dad passed away.

When I saw that, my eyes filled with tears and I knew, 2010 was my year to run a marathon. For my dad. For my mom. For my grandma. For my aunt Ruby. For my mom's friend Helen's husband. For Mark's mom. For my mom and I's sweet friend Connie. For everyone else out there who has survived, still fighting, or been taken by cancer.

In comparison to the battle and fight each person has endured, 26.2 miles is nothing for me. So, uh, that means as of like yesterday, I need to get serious about training. Any local Jacksonville peeps want to run together? Or any national blog readers want to join me in the marathon? People come from all over the country to run in this. It would be fun to get a group of people together and all deck out in pink (of course!) and run the race together. Email me if you are interested: scarlett@scarlettlillian.com

I used this bible verse in my dad's slideshow video that we showed at his funeral:

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." ~2 Timothy 4:7

I'm going to make that my mission verse in running my own race. Sure, I'm not expecting to win, but the real victory for me will be to FINISH my course.

Also, for participating, I've created a fundraising goal of $1,000.00. I ask that you pray about if you would like to support it in honor of someone you know battling cancer or taken by it. Through the power of this world wide web and blogs and Facebook and Twitter, I know we can reach the goal together. The money doesn't go to me, it goes straight to Mayo Clinic to help meet the needs of women going through breast cancer. You can donate through my runner page by clicking here:

http://donate.breastcancermarathon.com/2010marathon/Scarlett

I would love to know others I can add to the list of who I am running for. Will you leave a comment here on my blog with the name of your loved one and what kind of cancer they had? And if you want to share the story about them and how you know them, even better! :-)

(When my blog imports into my Facebook account notes, please still leave the name of your loved one on my blog, not Facebook, so I can keep it all in one place, thanks!)

God bless!

Thank you!

I just wanted to give a quick thank you to every one who took the time to leave such beautiful words of encouragement in the comment section of my last blog entry. It's been on and off tears for me, but overall, I am feeling better and truly feeling all your wonderful prayers pulling me through.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support system here on the blog. Thank you for being there for me and for sharing your own heart through similar experiences you've had or been through. I sincerely read each one. Also thank you for the personal emails for those who have sent them, I will write back as soon as possible, I promise!

Please keep a dear family in your prayers as well, the Seminara's. They are close with our family and Mr. and Mrs. Seminara were like adopted grandparents to me being my own grandparents' very best friends for the past 50+ years. I heard that Mr. Seminara passed yesterday morning after suffering a stroke 2 weeks ago and going into a coma. My mom and I will be attending the funeral this weekend, and I know it will a hard time for Mrs. Seminara, who is one of the sweetest people I know.

Here's a pic I pulled out of an old photo album I took of them at their 50th Wedding Anniversary Party we celebrated with them in 2001! Mr. Seminara looked so cute in his bowtie. And I just love Mrs. Seminara's expression on her face! That is the true essence of her.

A special day with my dad.

I wrote the title above.

Paused.

I didn't even type anything yet in the body of this blog, and the tears formed up in my eyes. Yes, I'm PMSing, but that aside, my eyes have been filling with tears at random times so much more lately. Not sad tears. Just tears appreciating the simplest beauty of life.

Today was a special day with my dad. But nothing really special happened. It was just the little moments that made it special.

I stopped by my parents' house to welcome a new friend in our lives. Through my blog, and my mom's blog about my dad and everything he is going through battling cancer right now, an angel of a friend named Shannon appeared in our lives. Over time she has sent one beautiful letter and gift after another to my dad and our family. Having recently lost her own grandmother, she was so sweet to turn her pain of loss into reaching out to perfect strangers and giving of herself so beautifully through random acts of kindness. Shannon was in town for a friend's wedding, so my mom hosted a tea party, and we all met for the first time, even though it felt like getting together with a long lost friend.

Here's a few pics of our visit:

Shannon and I


Shannon and my dad and mom.




After Shannon left, I hung around and crashed on the couch, just chatting with my parents about life, and I read them a sweet email I had just got from my bride Alexis on my iPhone about just seeing her wedding photos I posted yesterday in the entry before this one:

Dear Scarlett,

As we knew they would be, the photos are so beautiful. I cannot thank you enough for all your hard work and passion for documenting such a special day for us.

I was flying up to Gainesville to see my family when you put the shots up. As you know, it is the anniversary of my father passing away and there were tears in the car not long after my sister picked me up from the airport. Sometimes the best cure for grief is grieving but when I got home and my mother, sister and I all gathered around the computer to look at the shots you really transported us away from that sadness. We were laughing and pointing and ohhing and ahhing. All the tears were happy ones.

So thanks for giving us that moment together and congratulations on being able to touch people with your work.

Best

Alexis


After I finished reading the email, my dad didn't say anything. He just got up from his recliner and came and sat on the couch with me. Then he leaned forward and grabbed the small bottle of "holy water" on the coffee table that their friends Donna and Richard had brought back for them from a recent trip to Jeruselum.

"Will you pray for me and then apply the holy water to the spot where my cancer is?" my dad asked. "Hearing that email, I see you're in good with the Lord right now, and I want some of that."

I was honored to even be able to pray for my dad. All this time, I have been praying "for" my dad during my own quiet time each morning, but I've never prayed FOR my dad in his presence. I kind of have been leaving that to my mom because she's an amazing pray-er. They have these cute little "holy healing sessions" as they call it, where she prays over him and then applies the holy water to his cancer spot.

As my dad went on to describe, "Now, your momma really gets into it, she's shouting at the devil to get out of my body and everything, and just all filled with the spirit praying like a preacher applying the water three times in the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit." I just laughed and was like "Well, I don't think I can be as entertaining as mom, but I'll do the best I can."

So I grabbed my dad's hand, giving thanks that he was still here another day to hold his hand, soaking in the touch of how his hand felt in mine, and I just opened my heart in prayer the best way I knew how. I don't even remember what I said, but mom claimed it was the best prayer she ever heard. Ha! She has to say that, she's my mom. :-) One thing I've never felt I was good at was praying outloud. I've always kept a prayer journal as the way I talk with God, writing from my heart letter after letter to Him as if I'm writing to a friend, as He speaks to me in return through His word. So praying outloud is something I never feel comfortable doing, but at this point, I would do anything for my dad.

I applied the water to my dad's chest over his lungs, and as I brought my fingers away, his grey chest hairs stuck to my finger as they shed due to the chemo causing hair loss. As I shook off the hair on my fingers, I couldn't help but think of the story he's always told me of how when I was a baby, he used to lay me on his chest and how he never knew pain until my strong little baby hands would grip his hairy chest and hold on for dear life! We have a picture somewhere of me laying on my dad one of those times, but I think it's buried away in my parent's albums somewhere. Gosh, here I am teary eyed again just thinking of all of that, and how, now in a different way, I'm holding on for dear life again, for my dad's life this time, begging each day for a miracle that he'll beat this @!&#$*% cancer.

In my upcoming interview on F-Stop and Beyond, Ron asked me "What have you learned the most from your dad's situation?" And all I could think was "Don't wait to love. We're not promised tomorrow, so don't wait to love those who are most special to you. It's not until you think you are going to lose a loved one that you realize how important all the little everyday things are with that person." (Or my answer was something like that.) But today was one of those days that I soaked up every moment just sitting on the couch with my dad chatting about life, doing nothing, just hanging out being together with my two favorite people in the world, my heros, my best friends, my mom and dad.

Also today, I got an email from a bride of last year whose sister passed away yesterday. She was asking for a picture of her sister walking down the aisle to showcase at her funeral. My heart broke for her and her family, but reading her email just really made me stop and think, wow, this is why I feel blessed to have the job that I do, to be used to provide others with a memory of not only their wedding day, but of their loved ones as well. While a lot of photographers get caught up in all the accolades and awards in the industry, I honestly could care less and don't persue them because what is most important to me are the relationships and friendships I make serving others through my camera. That's the true success to me. While, yes, I am thankful for any success God has given me in my career, the reason why I am photographer is because I love documenting lives, love and family history. I feel so privileged to give my brides and grooms this amazing gift that they can one day look back on 50 years from now and remember why they fell in love... and the family that surrounded them to celebrate that love.

So it was just the kind of day where I'm reminded how fragile life is.

And suddenly, all the other things I worry about seem to not matter.

Because all that matters is the present.

Living life to the fullest each day we are given.

And loving others to the fullest each opportunity we are given with them.