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Jacksonville Senior Photographer // Scarlett Lillian Seniors: My biggest fear.
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Jun 17, 2009

My biggest fear.


Photo by Denis Reggie.



Soooooooo, today I got asked to face my greatest fear.

Stage fright.

"Ohhh sure, whatever, you totally flaunt it in front of the camera," you are probably thinking.

A camera is one thing.

But eyes staring at me is another.

I don't know where it came from. Growing up, I was always involved in the drama club and beauty pageants. I used to LOVE theater and performing. So in college, I chose to even minor in Theater. But suddenly, that's when it hit me. I began to choke up in my acting classes. I was scared to death. WHY was I so scared to death? The thought of people staring at me made me anxious. Terrified. Nauseous. And it still feels that way today.

And the times I've modeled for photographer friends, it really was more about forcing me to walk through my fears. Trying to find the performer I used to be in my childhood.

But then today, I got an email from Pictage. They asked me to submit an abstract to be considered as a speaker for the upcoming PartnerCon in New Orleans in November. (Woo hoo, who all is going? I would love to meet you there!)

My first reaction was "What, me? No way, I can't do this." Then my second reaction was "HELLO, dork, you have to do this." Then my third reaction was "But what would I talk about? What do I really have to say and teach?" So my fourth reaction was to text Mark and he immediately called with his amazing reassuring love and support. :-) And my fifth reaction was to Twitter about it and ask you what you would want me to talk about. I got some amazing feedback, but those who don't Twitter or Facebook, I wanted to post it here on the blog too for feedback.

What are you dying to know that I can help you with? I'm simply clueless on what to talk about.

That's another reason I've been putting off hosting workshops. I've been getting so many emails lately from people asking when I'm going to start offering them, but again, the thought of eyes staring at me, and being clueless what to teach. It just gives me the heebie jeebies. I about had a nervous breakdown when simply introducing Denis Reggie at last month's Pictage User Group.

Am I even really meant to be a teacher? I can't even try to teach my mom something on the computer without getting frustrated with her.

With all that said, I truly truly enjoy my one-on-one "Spend A Day With Scarlett" workshops. It just feels like hanging out with an old friend, and I'm just answering questions all day. I can answer questions, no problem. But why can't I get up and talk just as naturally?

I feel like this is my Esther moment. That's my favorite book in the bible, when God calls an ordinary girl to accomplish an extraordinary thing "for such a time as this." She has to choose to be bold, and walk through her fears, and trust that God will take care of the rest of the details. So even though public speaking scares me to death, I'm still going to submit an abstract and let Him take care of the details if it's His will for me to walk through that great fear and be a speaker or not.

So I need your help photographers..... I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, suggestions, questions, etc on what you would like to learn from me that would benefit your own journey with your photography or business? Leave me a comment and let me know!

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Vanessa Myers said...

You go, girl. I like the Esther comparison...God can use you and IS using you! Just keep taking the next step. I know exactly how you feel...fear of man. It can be a paralyzing fear. But you're not letting it. God will honor that. He gives enough grace. Always.

June 18, 2009 at 12:20 AM  
Blogger Momdenn said...

I love this post, esp on the Esther thing!!! Amen to that! Just about anything you've learned over the years would help me become a better photographer. LOL I think you're awesome and I would luv to come spend a day with you, but I don't have the money right now or prolly even the time! :-( Maybe one day. :-) You'll do fabulous!! Peace in Jesus' name!

June 18, 2009 at 12:25 AM  
Blogger Gwendolyn Tundermann Photography said...

Matt and I are planning on going to Partner Con! So excited! Looking forward to seeing what you will presnt.

Just think of it like you are talking to your friends. That's really what it's going to be like, anyway. You know just about everyone in the Pictage community. No sweat!

I can relate. I used have no problem speaking in front of groups. At my first college I was Student Government and Honor Society President and gave the commencement address in front of over 4,000 people. Today I would panic if I had to speak in front of a small group. It's what we allow ourselves to believe. If we BELIEVE in ourselves we will project that. So don't play yourself down. Just tell yourself "I am going to rock their socks off!!" and do it!

June 18, 2009 at 12:26 AM  
Anonymous Beth Morgan said...

BABE...you ROCK! I may just have to make it to Partner Con just to hang with you :). You will be amazing and inspire others. It's in your heart and it will come out of you...it already exudes. Love you!

June 18, 2009 at 1:18 AM  
Blogger Jerry in Tampa said...

Hold fast to your faith - if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it....

Talk about your mindset when you shoot! Tell them how you prepare mentally and physically and tell them what you are thinking as you go through the wedding day - your key shots - what to watch for - where to be - your various perspectives - and, of course, most will will want to know what settings you are using for different situations....

Scarlett, I feel you will be fine! You DO have it in you! Johnny will always be watching over his girl...

Jerry in Tamp

June 18, 2009 at 7:12 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

My biggest struggle with photography is making my pictures look consistent when I edit. I think the one thing I'd like to hear the most is how you achieve a consistent look every time. ...I tend to take every set of photos and want to craft my editing style around the ambience of the event. In contrast, that should be a signature of my brand and consistent with every shoot. You achieve this-teach us how!

June 18, 2009 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger mpcphotography said...

Here are some ideas: the best equipment to invest in for beginners, workflow, outsourcing (if you do this), companies you use for albums or materials, marketing, a typical "wedding day schedule", inspiration for posing, branding, etc!

Good Luck!

June 18, 2009 at 5:00 PM  
Blogger cynthia gayle said...

I have been reading your blog for several months now--#1 it is so encouraging to hear the faith of a young woman and #2 you have already taught me so much about photography by viewing (and re-viewing) your photos! I am a student of your work. Photography has, for a long time, been a hobby of mine and now that my kids are grown I am pursuing it as part-time work. (I have 2 part-time jobs other than the photography.)

I would love to learn about two things: #1 low-light indoor situations (my biggest downfall) and #2 working with the clients-creating poses and "things to do." I see some of the poses, positions and I want to remember them-then I get out there and I draw a blank. I bring notes-I just want it to flow.

Discussion on these two things would be awesome! Our Father is faithful-if He calls you to do something, He will go with you!

Cindy

June 18, 2009 at 7:14 PM  
Blogger strohlie said...

Hi Scarlett,

I might get to go to PartnerCon. Somethings I might like to hear are:

-Early on in your career, what are some things you did right, what are some things you would do differently?

-What things do you do to hone in on a look that is uniquely you?

-When did you start feeling like a 'professional' photographer?

-How have your successes/losses effected your photography/business?

I'm just full of questions. I know that for myself, when I do something that makes me nervous, that it is really, really good for me. I even read that this keeps us sharp as adults, to keep doing things (every once in awhile) that pushes our boundaries.

Blessings,
Pamela

June 18, 2009 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

like i said before, i think and believe you should talk about branding :)

June 19, 2009 at 1:26 AM  
Anonymous Heather Thorne said...

you will be fabulous! I'm praying for you, my friend. God will certainly direct you. You have a lot of knowledge and experience to share and your sweet spirit is the icing on the cake! I think you certainly were meant to teach. :)

June 19, 2009 at 11:59 AM  

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The images on this blog are the property of Scarlett & Stephen Photography. Images may not be reprinted without the permission of Scarlett Lillian.
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Jacksonville Senior Portrait Photographer also serving Ponte Vedra, St. Augustine, Amelia Island, Orange Park, Fernandina, Nocatee.
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