Eat, pray, love?

As I watched Eat, Pray, Love tonight, honestly, I wasn't impressed. Maybe it's because I couldn't relate to that struggle anymore. As I near 30 this Christmas, I've been thinking a lot lately, "Thank GOD my 20s are coming to an end." To be honest, when I think of my 20s, I think of pain.

The pain of not know what the future held in college.
The pain of trying to figure out what career I was meant to pursue.
The pain of not knowing who the heck I was.
The pain of comparing what I saw in the mirror to airbrushed magazines.
The pain of loving someone who couldn't love me in return the way I needed and getting my heart broken... more than once.
The pain of breaking hearts.
The pain of hearing my mom had cancer and almost losing her.
The pain of hearing my dad had cancer and losing him.


But for the first time in a long time.... I truly feel... happy. And at peace. It's been an ongoing up and down relationship with Jesus, learning to trust Him more, learning to be content with what He has blessed me with, learning to not doubt... but like any relationship, it's the struggles that brought me closer to His true heart. It's the pain I felt in life that makes me appreciate the beauty what's in front of me now. It's the pain in past relationships that make me smile that much bigger when I think about how loved I am by Stephen. It's the pain in losing my father that makes me hug my mom that much stronger than I ever did before.

Maybe if I were to see the movie or read the book a few years ago, I would have loved the movie and been able to relate to her brokeness. But for now, it's a cool feeling to see how God took the broken pieces of my life and molded them into a whole new beautiful creation.

With all that said, the movie DID get me really excited about heading to Europe this time next week! Woo hoo... and like the movie said, this will be a "No carb left behind" journey! :-)