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Jacksonville Senior Photographer // Scarlett Lillian Seniors: Daddy's little girl.

May 27, 2008

Daddy's little girl.

It's funny how God prepares our hearts to receive the next thing in front of us.

This morning I went on a walk with my dog, Rhett, around the lake, and Bethany Dillon's song "Hallelujah" came on my iPod.

"Whatever's in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah."

At that moment when that line hit my ears, my eyes closed, and for a moment the world stopped as I felt a strong breeze cool my forehead. I couldn't help but think how much the breeze reminded me of God's presence. Just like how we can't see the wind, it doesn't make it less real. Just like how we can't see God, doesn't make Him less real. Just like how we can feel the breeze embrace our skin and travel through our hair, we can feel God's breeze in our hearts living in us, through us and all around us. That is the beauty of faith, knowing to be true what we can not see.

I listened to the song reflecting back to the first time I heard it last year, and how much my world has changed since then, yet how sometimes I feel back in the same place with all my questions, all my uncertainties, all my prayers that I daily try to understand His purpose in.

"Here we go again, Lord," I said as the song continued on.

"Who can hold the stars and my weary heart?
Who can see everything?
I've fallen so hard, sometimes I feel so far beyond Your reach.

I can climb a mountain, swim the ocean, do anything.
But it's when you hold me, that I start unfolding and all that I can say is...

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me, help me to sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me, I CHOOSE to sing Hallelujah"

After the walk, I unleashed Rhett and plopped down at my desk to see I had a voicemail waiting from my mom.

"Hey Scar, we are at the hospital and the doctor took an Xray of daddy's chest. They've found a large mass on his lungs, and they are taking him in now to get a CAT scan to try to see exactly what it is. They said the wound he had on his back that he had been taken to the emergency room for a few weeks ago was not what is causing his problems with the weight loss, etc, apparently it's whatever this mass is on his lung. Please keep him in prayer and I'll keep you updated."

I immediately burst into tears. The same kind that dropped me to the floor when I found out my mom had breast cancer 4 years ago. The same kind that dropped me to the floor when I thought I had breast cancer last year. But this time, it was my dad's turn and the thought of losing him hit me like a truck and out came flooding my tears.

With the tears came fears. Fear for the possibility of his life ending. Fear for my mom losing him and having to live life on her own. Fear of losing one of my best friends and the first man I ever loved. Fear for him not being here to walk me down the aisle one day. Fear of him never knowing his grandchildren. Fear for all the medical expenses that are going to continue to drain my parents on top of the ones they are still trying to pay off for my mom's 4 years ago. Fear of not understanding why God might take my dad as such a young age.

My dad has always been a heavy smoker, so I knew deep down this day might come. I just feel paralyzed now that it is actually here.

But as 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love." So I am choosing to cling to that and to sing Hallelujah despite all the uncertainties in front of me right now with my dad. I know that God is a gracious Father and that He will take care of my own father.

I wanted to share this with you because I believe in the power of prayer where two or more are gathered. I know it's still early and we don't know for sure yet if it's cancer, but either way, please lift him up in your prayers. Whatever God's will is in this situation, please pray for our family to feel His comfort and peace and strength as things unfold. I will keep you updated with the news when I know more. Thank you for your friendship in Christ and for your prayers!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Bethany Dillion and that song. I will be praying for you're family.
Kelly Herrin

May 27, 2008 at 1:58 PM  
Anonymous Geoff Schultz said...

Hi Scarlett, my name is Geoff Schultz (Cheyenne's husband) and I just want to let you know that your family will be in my prayers. It is great to see you leaning on God to carry you through, and He will. Take care, your work is amazing, and glad you liked my wife's gift!

God Bless.

May 27, 2008 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Heather Thorne Photography said...

You and your dad are in my prayers!

May 27, 2008 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Beadale Photography said...

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear about this. I will keep him, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Try to stay strong for you Mother. She needs you now.

May 27, 2008 at 2:13 PM  
Blogger Katie Beverley said...

I am praying for your daddy! Please keep us updated!

May 27, 2008 at 2:39 PM  
Blogger Scarlett Lillian said...

Thank you for how quickly you guys have already responded. It has helped comfort my heart! :-)

May 27, 2008 at 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Katie Tuccelli said...

You and your family are in my prayers, Scarlett. Please keep us updated. Stay strong, sweetheart!

May 27, 2008 at 2:45 PM  
Blogger Carla Jean said...

Ohhhh, Scarlett. I am so sad to hear that. I will definitely be praying for your dad's health, as well as for all three of you as you cope with whatever this may be. Please keep us posted.

May 27, 2008 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger Kara Pennington Photography said...

We're praying for you and your parents, girl!

May 27, 2008 at 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Jill Higgins said...

Will keep all of you in my prayers.

May 27, 2008 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger Kenzie Shores Photography said...

oh, Scarlett, I wish I knew what to say, just know that you and your parents are always in my prayers. We have a lot to catch up on this weekend. I'll bring the martinis :)

May 27, 2008 at 4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be thinking and praying for your family. I know what you are going through. A month ago my dad and uncle were both diagnosed with pulminary fibrosis a terminal lung disease. My dad is on oxygen 24 hours a day and my uncle is awaiting a lung transplant. I have had many of the same things flash before my very eyes about what the future will hold but I know it is all in God's hand and he is looking out for us. Stay strong and if you ever need to talk give me a call.

Lori M.

May 27, 2008 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Amy C. said...

Your family--as well as your dad's doctors, nurses, etc.--are in my prayers. I'm so sorry to hear this scary news.

May 27, 2008 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger jamiedelaine said...

Oh my goodness. Scarlett you amaze me with your amazing strength (even when you feel like you can't be strong anymore). God is gracious and faithful and that song makes me want to cry everytime I hear it. Take comfort in your family right now: ignore work, and focus on what's important. I'll be praying for you.

May 27, 2008 at 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Franca said...

Hey Scarlett, I am praying for you. I nearly burst into tears in the office right now as I was reading this, but I want you to know that you have so many prayer warriors around you!!! God is MIGHTY! Please pray for Bradley's aunt, Cherry. She just found cancer in her lungs and kidneys. It's time for God to work. Luv you girl.

May 27, 2008 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

I'll keep your family in my prayers, Scarlett.

May 27, 2008 at 5:26 PM  
Anonymous Mandy said...

Dealing with the possibility of cancer in a loved one is one of the toughest roads to walk. My prayers are with you and your family!

May 27, 2008 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Sentimental Visions Photography said...

I know I just talked to you in email, but again, I'll pray hard for him! I'll pray for strength and God to heal. I've been there, but with my uncle, and it was his heart.

May 27, 2008 at 6:50 PM  
Blogger Hybrid Photography said...

Oh no :( I'm so sorry to hear this Scarlett...you guys are definitely in my prayers!!

May 27, 2008 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger amy said...

Hey Scarlett,

I am praying and thinking of you all.


May 27, 2008 at 7:46 PM  
Blogger SJO Photography said...

Scarlett, I will be praying for you, your family and your dad.

May 27, 2008 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Stacy Cross said...

Absolutely 100% praying for you.

May 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Sweet Scarlett..... your daddy is in my prayers, along with both you & your mom. God will continue to prove himself faithful in this situation. Believing with you for a miracle. :)

May 27, 2008 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Heather Behlendorf said...

Scarlett I can totally relate. I just lost my dad to cancer on March 15th and his was lung cancer as well. I will be praying for your family and that a miracle happens.


May 27, 2008 at 10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im really not good at this, I don't know what to say other than I will pray for your dad and I'm sure he will be fine. :)


May 27, 2008 at 11:12 PM  
Blogger AngeliquePhotography said...

Hi Scarlett. I'll keep your family in my prayers. Take care, and be strong. Everything will work out.

May 28, 2008 at 1:13 AM  
Anonymous Nancy Crews said...

Oh Scarlett...of course we will keep your dad, your mom and you in our prayers every day. Our church has a prayer room manned every day almost 24 hours. We will pass this request on to them. I too am a believer in the power of numbers being offered on someone else's behalf. God bless you all!

May 28, 2008 at 2:45 AM  
Blogger Nic said...

Hey Scarlett,
You have a beautiful way of writing! I am always reading your blog. You write so openly from the heart.
I am sorry to read this about your father though. I hope that he will be well. I will certainly pray for you and your family.
"Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation." Psalm 25:5

May 28, 2008 at 9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scarlett - I will be sure to keep you and your family in my prayers!

May 28, 2008 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Scarlett Lillian said...

I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers and for spreading the prayer request to your families and churches. Thank you thank you thank you!!

May 28, 2008 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger Isis said...

Your family is in my prayers. We've had many cancer survivors in my family, but the process is tough. Stay strong in your faith and your prayers. ((BIG HUGS))

May 28, 2008 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Scarlett Lillian said...

Isis- Yeah, my family has proved to be cancer survivors too, so my dad is surrounded by a lot of strength!

June 3, 2008 at 3:57 PM  

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