Special prayer request please!
May 16, 2004
Well, it's official. Momma has cancer. I don't really know what to think of it. When other people find out, they go into the "Oh I'm so sorry, you must be taking it hard," thing, but honestly I'm not. I think it's because I'm living in denial. Like, I like to believe that this is just an obstacle to bring us my family closer to God by relying on his strength during the hard times vs. I just can't believe that God would take my mom away from me when he knows how important she is to me. I've always said that she is my soul mate. She is just the one person who knows what I'm thinking without me having to say it, and she is my number one cheerleader in life who would do anything in the world for me. It's the simple things I would miss like today I was laying in bed reading and got hungry, so I called her downstairs on my cell phone and asked if she could make me something. Then, without hesitation, she stops what she's doing and makes me a grilled cheese sandwich and homemade french fries. Like, who else in the world thinks enough of me to do that? Some people might look at that as I'm spoiled, but honestly, I look at it as she is the ultimate example of true love that I hope to be able to give to people one day.
Despite my being in denial, last Friday I had my first day of actually breaking down over the whole cancer thing. My parents had gone out of town and after going out with my friends I came home to an empty house. It just hit me that night, like, if something happens to my mom, this is what it will always be like, coming home to an empty house without her stirring things up in the kitchen or reading her books in the library or coming downstairs with "My boo boo, how are you?" So it hit hard and when I got upstairs in my room, I just dropped to the floor in tears.
That's the only time I've cried over the cancer thing. Since then I've gone back into denial, or maybe it's hope... cause like my grandma had breast cancer and survived it, so I'm trying to have faith that if my grandma can get through it, my mom certainly can. Then again, my mom's lump is pea size when my grandma's was just a sesame seed, but still.. with modern day technology and tons of prayer, I'm trying my best to have faith that God will save her.
So for the people reading this, please take a moment to pray for my mom and her health.. and the well-being of those who are close to her. God knows I need all the patience and strength I can get too.
Since that journal entry, my mom is now a survivor. 2004 was full of chemo, radiation, losing her hair, losing her right breast and almost losing her life after the chemo became toxic in her system. But after a rush to the emergency room, on Christmas Day 2004, God graced us with a miracle and she's been on the upswing since then.
This blog entry is a special prayer request. Tomorrow my mom goes in for an extensive amount of 2-days of tests to see if her breast cancer has had any reoccurance. With a 75% chance that breast cancer does reoccur, my mom is always scared that it will creep up again, especially considering how bad her case was. I'm so thankful for months like this month that promote breast cancer awareness. This is a serious epidemic, and we need a cure! Thank you to those out there who have supported in one way or another. (It's fun to see so much pink flooding the stores this month!)
For tomorrow, please pray for God's healing touch over my mom, for God's comfort to calm her fears, for God's wisdom to work through the doctors, and for God's patience as we wait to find out results.
I was looking for an old photo to post here on the blog during the time she was going through her treatment, and I ran across an old disc of images that I thought I would create as a slideshow to share with you guys. I almost forgot about these photos, as a way to block the pain I guess, but today I got teary eyed just looking at them all over again. When she found out she had the cancer, my mom asked me to document her journey with my point and shoot camera, but it's funny how at the time, taking pictures was the last thing I wanted to do. I think deep down I was just a scared little girl who wanted my mommy to be ok, not be a photographer. If I had known at the time, it was all part of my training for becoming a professional photographer in the years to come.
Here is a collection of the pictures we have from 2004. It takes you through various doctor's visits, MRIs, the faces we met along the way, chemo treatments, the first hair cut when her hair was beginning to fall out, wig shopping, and then the hospital visit during Christmas that was the turning point for her healing miracle.
These are straight out of my cheap point and shoot camera, no editing.
Now a days, my mom is writing a book about giving hope to cancer patients. She keeps a blog of her journey writing the book and to provide daily inspiration for others. I'd love for you to check it out and show her some love! And if you know someone going through cancer, please send her blog their way. She is also available for speaking to groups if you know of an opportunity she can minister in that way!
Thanks everyone for your prayers!!